Duke Botanical Gardens

I have started volunteering at the Duke Botanical Gardens. They are in the process of creating a Children's Discovery Garden so it was a nice fit. I approached them about doing curriculum development (for money) but got talked into volunteering as a docent (for free). I'm a master negotiator. Anyway, I really enjoy it so I do get some benefit from my work even though it's not a profitable venture. Speaking of profitable ventures, though, I have been doing a little catering/personal chef work in my free time (when Ollie is napping). It also doesn't make a ton of money (gotta work on that) but I really enjoy coming up with meal ideas each week for the two families I cook for. This past week, however, I had a big job for Ryan's company which was a fun challenge and more like real catering. His department hosted a morning coffee break for the entire company. I made 500 assorted biscotti and scones. I hear it was a big hit. I am just glad that it wasn't total chaos and stress chez Halverson to get this job finished. I feel like I managed it well, the kitchen stayed organized and clean and no one lost their mind.

Anyway, today is a beautiful day so Oliver and I went to the Duke Botanical Gardens to see the spring blooms and feed the ducks. Ollie had more fun throwing rocks in the pond than feeding the ducks. He had a blast running around and is out cold now until Ryan gets home. Ryan is going to take him camping tonight and I am off to Atlanta for the weekend to see my friend Bianca. Good times!

Emergent Literacy or the Dawn of the "E-ewe Poopoo"

So Oliver has gotten really excited about letters recently. He has a set of those ubiquitous LeapFrop Fridge Phonics magnets, which he loves. For those of you who don't have toddlers, let me explain...it's this gizmo that takes simple magnetic fridge letters to the next level. You insert each letter into the little box, and then it plays a song to the tune of 'The Farmer in the Dell.' For instance, "F says 'fuh,' F says 'fuh,' every letter makes a sound, F says 'fuh.'" There is also a button that initiates the whole alphabet song, although we wouldn't know that around here because Oliver leans on the button so it just plays "A, A, A, A, A, A, A, A...." The whole thing gets acutely annoying, especially with the volume on high.

At any rate, I think that is how he started to learn to recognize some letters. For some reason he is particularly fond of the letters "B, O, P, R, Y, A, D, I and U". He pretends to "write" letters when he is drawing, telling me that his little scribble is a B or a Y or whatever. He even traces "letters" in the sand at the playground. He also notices letters everywhere... on store logos, street signs, on cereal boxes, in books, and even in other places you might not expect...such as in the toilet!! Yes, Oliver was delighted to look into the potty one day to discover that he had made a U-shaped poop, or as he says it, "e-ewe poopoo!!" Since that remarkable discovery he has made much fan fare out of deciphering his solid waste...perhaps we should introduce reading tea leaves instead.

Our Little Comedian

Oliver has discovered his first "joke" which is sort of like a very rudimentary knock-knock joke. It started when we would read Good Night Moon. He would insist that the kittens (as in "there were two little kittens, and a pair of mittens") were actually dogs. He would say "dog" and point to the kittens. I would say, "no, Oliver, those are kittens, baby cats." but he would shake his head and say, "Dog." So I would say, "cat" and then he would smile and say, "Dog!" and I would say "Cat!" and so on. He thinks this is HILARIOUS. So now, several times a day he comes up to me and with a devilish little smile he says "Dog!" and clearly I am supposed to say "Cat!", then he says "Dog! Dog! Dog!" and then I say "Cat! Cat! Cat!" and then he laughs and laughs. This goes back and forth until one of us says "meow!" I guess that is the punch line because the joke ends there.

Happy Birthday Dear Oliver

Oliver turned 2 last Sunday. It has taken me a week to find the time to sit down to post this but Oliver's adoring fans (a.k.a his grandparents) are clamoring for photos, so here they are with a run down of the day's activities.

Back in the fall I had grand plans for a Thomas the Tank Engine birthday party. My friend Tessa has a fabulous train bundt pan and I found these great unpainted Thomas trains that I thought Oliver and his little buddies could paint at the party and take home as favors. It all seemed so wonderful until I realized: I frankly just don't feel like making that effort. Terrible! But, really, he's only 2 for crying out loud and, really, is he going to care?

So, instead we invited my mom (Nana) to come down to celebrate with us. We decided to have a little family "party" at the airport Observation Park, which is one of Oliver's favorite spots these days. There's an observation deck where you can watch the planes take off and land, and there's a small playground and a few picnic tables. It's little boy heaven! So, on the morning of his birthday Ollie woke up early and helped me make cupcakes. He loves scooping and dumping the ingredients into the bowl, but got overly enthusiastic about mixing the dry ingredients and flour got EVERYWHERE. Actually, what happened was that he decided that mixing with his hands would be a lot more fun than with a spoon. We made orange-vanilla cupcakes with chocolate butter cream frosting. They were very yummy!!

We took the cupcakes and his presents to the observation park in the late morning. All was going swimmingly until we tried to light the candles. It was very windy and despite our best efforts the matches kept going out before the candles were even lit. Ryan insisted that the best way to do it was to strike two matches at once "because that would make more heat". (What?!?) I disagreed (strongly) with this technique. He countered that I should have brought more matches. I told him (using a combination of verbal and nonverbal cues) that I thought he was an idiot. He told me (likewise employing grunts and rolled eyes) that I was a big jerk. Tensions mounted...there were only four matches left. Ryan decided to try lighting the candles in a less windy location...namely the public men's bathroom. GROSS!! Furious, I followed him in there. So did Oliver who started exploring (with his hands) the fascinating world of urinals and toilet stalls. Ryan did manage to get the candles lit, but as we were moving out of the bathroom one of the candles tipped over and landed, ironically, still burning, on Ryan's hand that was cupped around the flames to keep them from extinguishing. He didn't want the candle to go out, but his hand was literally on fire. He started calling desperately to me to help him. It was a birthday party low-point to be sure. My mom, who had diplomatically stayed out of the fracas up to this point scooped Oliver up and took him over to the playground. Completely defeated and ashamed of ourselves, Ryan and I just sat at the picnic tables and laughed at how truly pathetic we were.

We decided that enough was enough and we would just punt the birthday "celebration" until later. After dinner we invited some neighborhood kids over to sing happy birthday and Oliver was finally able to blow out his candles and open presents. Obviously I'm glad that we didn't try to undertake anything more elaborate this year. Maybe it will be the kids, and not the parents, who melt-down at next year's celebration.

But to get to the heart of what we should have been commemorating, we are so happy and feel so blessed to have this sweet, happy, curious and playful little boy in our lives. Each night before we go to bed Ryan and I talk about the cute and funny little things that Ollie does. We go in to peek in on him after he has fallen asleep and our hearts almost burst with love for that little fellow. We love him so much and are so glad that he's part of our family.

Watching planes take off and land could not be more engrossing



Oliver and Nana "take off" down the runway
Building sand castles


He IS wearing underwear...but even his tiny Japanese underwear get pulled down when his pants sag. The kid needs suspenders.

Friends Who Rock

Wednesday night Ryan went out to watch the UNC-Duke basketball game with a friend (they were supposed to actually go to the game, but unfortunately, our friend's roommate decided that instead of just giving his tickets to his good buddy, he would sell them for hundreds of $$$). Anyway, he was out really late so what did I do? I went on a blog-reading bender and caught up on the happenings of some of my dearest friends. WOW. I can't believe what talented, funny, and creative friends I have. I just wish more of them lived closer to us!!! (Our Raleigh friends are also talented, funny and creative.)

I just have to put in a plug for my friend Ally Condie who, in addition to raising two adorable little boys, is churning out books at a head-spinning rate. On Wednesday night I read an excerpt from her latest book, The Moms' Club Diaries, a compilation of stories about motherhood, which convinced me that I needed to go right out and buy it, which I did (online, since it was midnight). This is the excerpt, written by another great friend, Josie Lauritsen Lee. I loved it because I can just hear Josie tell this story in her own voice. It made me miss her so much. So I called her this morning in London, but she wasn't home (sigh).

The Right Fit by Josie L. Lee
Had I been interviewed for a position as a Mormon mother before my son was born, I might have made it through a couple of rounds. But in the end, despite my book-filled hours of preparation, my application would have been rejected because of “motivational fit”—a term I used frequently in one of my pre-parenthood jobs. As part of this job, I conducted behavior-based interviews with candidates looking for employment with our company. I would ask these candidates a series of questions designed to gauge their experience and proficiency across a range of competencies related to the open position (for example, teamwork, leadership, ability to multi-task and handle stress). Interestingly, candidates could score highly across the target areas and still not be hired because they were not the right “motivational fit.” In other words, their personalities and aspirations were not cut out for the job, regardless of their skill sets.
Since, for a variety of reasons, I was not cut out for a position in Mormon Motherdom (or so I thought) I contemplated parenthood somewhat reluctantly. When Noah was born, however, I was overwhelmed by how much I unexpectedly adored him, and I entered motherhood like a lovesick bull in a china shop. No finesse. No technique. Just freehand gung ho. I happily, if clumsily, assumed the necessary tasks and roles of motherhood, hoping the animal-instinct love in my gut would cover for my lack of fit. I didn’t know what I was doing, but even heaven could not help anyone who messed with my boy.
As time passed, I began to feel more at ease in my new role. Somewhere in the hours of gazing at my baby and kissing his toes, the issue of motivational fit became irrelevant. Still, I was not fully comfortable in my new role as a Mormon mom, and there were moments when my inner china shop bull reared her ugly head. Unfortunately, at least one of these moments occurred in public.
It was a (dare I re-live this in print?) family home evening exchange—an ingenious invention unofficially introduced into the Church no doubt by an achieving mother of eight with a perfect motivational fit score. As the idea goes, a group of ten parents get together and exchange family home evening lessons they have prepared and copied for each member of the group. At the end of the exchange, all the parents walk away with instructions and materials for ten lessons to share with their families. In our stake, these exchanges had been going on for some time among the women, but I had never participated. I had no artistic skills or child development expertise to offer the group, and though I really liked the idea in theory, it required a little too much organization and attention to detail for my taste. Since family home evening in my childhood home never involved plans or visual aids, preparing a reproducible lesson didn’t feel like something I was cut out for. This time, however, a dear friend of mine, whose mothering I greatly admired, persuaded me to participate in the exchange. She assured me that whatever I produced would be acceptable for the group. Forgetting my friend was not aware of the depth of my incompetence, I foolishly believed her and signed up.This particular exchange was headed up by a young mother in our ward with a formidable motivational fit profile. During the months preceding the actual exchange, she organized several groups of ten mothers, no member of which would repeat a lesson topic. She compiled email lists, organized spreadsheets and kept us all informed of our collective progress with commanding precision. I was impressed with her logistical management, but I was confused as to why people needed so much time and information to prepare. My all-heart, no-skill approach to parenting only required a few minutes to cobble together a family home evening lesson while clearing Monday’s dinner dishes. Still, I took the cues from our fearless leader (“Only a month left until the exchange, Ladies!”) and decided to ramp up....

That's all Ally had on her blog, so I guess I'll have to wait to see what happens. I can't wait to get the book in the mail!

Oh, Happy Day!

Ok, this is totally dorky, but I have had the BEST week because Oliver has potty trained himself. In one week. What a kid!

He had been able to go on the potty for some time now but I hadn't officially made the switch because I thought a) I am just not psychologically or otherwise ready for accidents and poo everywhere and b) where in the world am I going to get underwear small enough for his tiny rear-end...that is still an issue but apparently Jill Nelson is coming through for me with a source for underwear for preemies, I'll find out more tomorrow.

Anyway, last Saturday night I was complaining to Ryan about the fact that I didn't know what I was doing or have a plan for potty training Oliver although I really felt like HE was ready, and that if we waited until I was ready he might lose interest. The novelty and excitement of going on the potty (not to mention sheer joy of flushing the toilet!!) might get a bit stale. Ryan, who is relentlessly organized and always "has a plan," was a little exasperated that I was approaching this situation with such disorganization and apparent apathy. But then, at that exact moment, Saydi called and gave me lots of good tips so I started to formulate a plan. The next day (Sunday) we heard a really inspirational talk at church about the importance of setting goals and I thought, I'm going to make it my goal between now and his birthday (Feb 17) to "implement my plan" and really work with Oliver on potty training. For those of you who know me well, you must know that "implementing plans" is NOT my strong suit, nor my usual M.O. And, yes, I know, the speaker probably had more spiritual goals in mind when he delivered his talk, but in any case, I chose to apply his message to potty training.

So, with Saydi's advice and the inspiration from the church speaker in my mind I blazed ahead with my plan, which was basically to keep him in diapers but put him on the potty every 45 minutes. In truth, I didn't and still don't have a plan for naps or nighttime (diapers stay on...I'm not that into doing laundry). BUT--Oliver had a different plan. He seems to have "gotten it" completely and let me know when he had to use the potty, even when we were out shopping or at the Science Museum. He didn't have one accident all week!! No, not one. He even woke up this morning and called out that he needed to go pee-pee because he wasn't about to go pee in his diaper, no way, man, not when he could go in the potty (and use toilet paper, and flush, and close the lid, and wash his hands, and wipe them off on a towel, and turn off the light...all of those steps need to take place in their proper order...he's a bit like Rainman in that respect, but I'm not complaining.)

Anyway, I fully realize that this post is way too long and I am WAY to psyched about this, but it is what it is. Also I have probably cursed myself by writing about how well things are going because it's only been one week, so fingers crossed that he continues with his great progress.

Blizzard!!

Half an inch of snow fell last night and the entire city shut down. Stores and restaurants closed early, while it was still just raining, so that employees could scurry home before the "storm" hit. We braved the weather and found a restaurant that was still open (our first choice had closed!) The roads were almost completely empty save the armada of snowplows standing ready by the sides of the highway and a few other hearty souls who we decided were surely not native North Carolinians. Our church was canceled this morning so we have had two blessedly lazy days in a row here at home.

I took Ollie out in the snow which he really enjoyed until his poor little fingers started to freeze and he started crying. He hates mittens but I think now he gets the idea that they are not torture devices but actually convenient hand warmers. After the little freezing fingers episode he was much more agreeable about putting on his mittens. For the record Ryan is/was completely horrified that I let him play outside in the snow without mittens or a hat...those were my bad judgment calls. I accept full responsibility.

PS--Check out Oliver's NY Giants kit. (Thank you Uncle Bernie!) He's getting ready for tonight's playoff game.