Love Fest...And Then A Reality Check

A few days ago it really hit me that this phase in my life (mom to an only child) is going to come to an end very soon. I have thought often about how the addition of Baby Bruzzer is going to effect Oliver but I didn't really think about how it would also bring to a close a chapter in my life. It has made me feel especially loving and tender towards Oliver because I feel this nostalgia for the present, if that makes any sense. These last few days I've been thinking about how each time we do something together it might be the "last" time (at least without a little sidekick). As much as I am looking forward to meeting this new little one, I will miss these days!

I love Oliver so intensely. He has such a sweet and gentle personality but he's also full of fun and loves to laugh. He makes it so EASY for us as parents. (Besides, of course, not eating and still being basically incompetent in chewing and swallowing food...we are really hoping that Baby Bruzzer will teach him a thing or two in the department). He's so cooperative when I ask him to do something. OK, truth be told, sometimes/often I have to ask him more than once and he will SAY no, but then he does what I've asked him to do anyway. He loves to "help out" around the house. He loves to shoot "bassies" or baskets so any job that involves throwing stuff in the trash or putting dirty clothes in the laundry basket he turns in to a game. He doesn't even mind when he misses, because that just means that he gets to do it again. He says "MISS!" with as much gusto as he says "BASSIE! NICE WOOK!" (as in "nice work!") when his projectile makes it in the basket/trash/toy bin. My heart melts when he looks up at me and says "Tee-tee mommai" (thank you mommy) when I give him something he has asked for: juice, a song, his favorite green Crocs, moh cha cha miik (more chocolate milk).


OK, I wrote all that on Monday night...before he was replaced by a changeling or morphed into a more typical two year old. In the last 48 hours he has been a real stinker. My well of patience has run dry. He doesn't do anything I ask, no matter how many times or how kindly I ask. He hits me. He throws his Crocs at my head while I'm driving. He threw sand in a child's face at the playground...twice!! When I try to get him out of the car he scurries into the front seat and makes a grab for chapstick, breathmints, CDs or other contraband. Last night he wouldn't get out of the car and I was so fed up from chasing him around that I just closed the door, tuned off the lights and left him in the garage (I pray this doesn't prompt a visit from Social Services). And of course I went back out and got him as soon as he started to cry. I complained to Abby about what has been going on and she said "sounds like you are in a battle of wits with your two year old...and he's winning!!" I think she's right and it's so frustrating!!

Ryan has been out of town a lot recently and I realized how much I depend on him to keep my sanity. He is so good with Oliver and he really helps me keep it all in perspective. Last night when he got home from 3 days in New Orleans we all sat on the couch, Oliver cuddled up in Ryan's lap smiling sleepily up at me saying softly, "mommai, daddai, O-ver, Babby Bruzzer" like he was so happy that our family was together again. That's exactly how I felt!! Those are the moments I cherish. I hope I can call up those sweet little memories when he is working on my last nerve.

Atlanta Weekend

I just got some pictures back from my fabulous weekend in Atlanta a few weeks ago. I went down there to see my friend Bianca, from Wellesley, who is having identical twin boys at just the same time I'm due. Her sisters and mother-in-law threw her a shower which was my excuse for the trip, but really it was just a fun weekend to reconnect with old friends. Ryan was such a sweetheart, when he found out about the shower he urged me to go and even went so far as to book my flights. Then he held down the fort at home while I was out of town: reading and re-reading "goldbug book" (Cars and Trucks and Things That Go), building block towers and knocking them down with a wooden hammer or wiffleball bat, and playing trains with Oliver. What a guy!

Bianca's husband Mark is hilarious and from the moment he met me at the airport (brandishing lottery tickets for all of us, because we're "going to have to put these kids through college somehow") I was laughing my head off. Bianca's good friend from medical school, Elise, also flew in for the event so we spent Saturday hanging out with her, too. She was awesome and by the end of the weekend I felt like I had made a great new friend.

Mark and Bianca at the shower (he didn't stay for the party)

Wellesley friends Alex (Classen) Lonergan and Catherine (Heilman) Strauven. It was so good to see these guys! Alex and I traveled together for a month in SE Asia after college but lost touch with each other since. I hadn't been in touch with Catherine since graduation. We had a lot of catching up to do!
Bianca and her mom. Bianca's mom and sister Carla were actually on the MicroStrategy cruise in 2001 where it all began ("it" being the Ford-Halverson romance and subsequent marriage).
Bianca and I, caught in the act--gobbling down sandwiches after the shower. Don't leave food unattended around pregnant ladies.

Oliver's Fairy Godmother

Abby came down to spend 5 days with me this week while Ryan was out of town on business. We had such an amazing time!! Oliver was thrilled to have his "Aunt Bubba" around to make him laugh. (He can't really say Abby, it comes out sounding like "Bubbie," hence Aunt Bubba.) Oliver is so lucky because Abby really understands and takes seriously her role as auntie. She knows that it is her job to be the cooler, more fun, more energetic version of mom.

She offered to babysit Ollie while I went to a volunteer luncheon at Duke Botanical Gardens. It was a beautiful day so they came with me to the garden and went off to have a nice picnic and feed the ducks...or so I thought! When I tracked them down after the luncheon I discovered that they had actually climbed INTO the koi pond. Luckily for them all the staff and volunteers were otherwise engaged because that was definitely not proper "garden etiquette". Oliver was happily clutching a bag of Cheetos (forbidden by mom), covered in neon orange Cheeto-grease, and kicking his feet in the water.

You can't really tell from this picture that Abby and Oliver have climbed down inside the pool...it looks like they are just sitting on rocks, but that's because the very obvious wall of the pool is cropped out of the picture.

Another time, when we went to the Weaver Street Market, Abby offered to stay outside while I started shopping inside. Oliver loves jumping in puddles and I usually indulge this up to a point, but Abby clearly has a much higher tolerance for fun. When she finally brought Ollie inside he was completely wet and muddy and, according to Abby, had stomped the puddle dry! It was a really nice reminder to me that I can and should loosen up a little bit.

My dad came down for the weekend and we all went down to Wilmington for Friday and Saturday to go to the beach. My dad was the only one who went swimming but we all hung out on the beach (me looking and feeling like a beached whale) and Oliver played in the sand. It was so nice that Abby could chase after him so I could lie on the beach, read Lucky magazine, and do my beached whale thing. She is really creative and makes up fun little games for Oliver. They slid down the dunes and combed the beach for rocks and sticks. She taught him how to hop like a rabbit and prowl like a tiger which he found endlessly entertaining and I found very cute.

Now that Oliver has tasted forbidden fruit, a.k.a. Cheetos, he's pretty much hooked. I know that it's great that he's eating at all, but really, couldn't he have developed a passion for a less disgusting snack food (not to mention one that is loaded with artificial ingredients and has no nutritional value whatsoever.)

Here he is at a gas station on the way down to the beach. He said he wanted a "nack" (snack) and he quickly found his way to the Cheetos. I tried to veto this selection but was overruled by my Dad and Abby.

Baby Bruzzer

People always ask me if Ollie knows that he's going to have a brother soon and the answer is...hard to tell. I don't know if it's just that he is a little out of it but he doesn't seem to quite get it. You would think that he would have noticed the GIANT and ever-growing protuberance that is my belly and wonder what is going on, but apparently not.

The first time I tried to explain to him that I have a baby in my tummy Oliver's eyes lit up and he eagerly lifted my shirt to find this baby brother. When all he saw was skin he looked up at me with the saddest look of confusion and disillusionment, like Mom, why are you playing tricks on me? I said, no honey, the baby's inside. (Like that should clear things up?!?) He looked again a little closer and with much satisfaction finally located his "Baby Bruzzer": a prominent freckle on my belly.

A few weeks ago I asked Ryan to pick up some picture books at the library on the topic of "bringing home a new baby" in the hopes that a book might help clarify things. Well, the books Ryan found were definitely a little "advanced" (Whoa, what 2 year old is ready to explore the intricacies of how babies are made...what kind of board book is this!?!) Luckily my friend Heather had some more age-appropriate reading material that explain the salient aspects of becoming a big brother to a toddler.... mom gets a big belly, grandma and grandpa come to visit, mom goes to the hospital, a new baby comes home, mom and dad still love the big brother.

Ollie really likes reading these books and, despite the fact that he thinks the exact location of Baby Bruzzer is a freckle on my stomach, I sort of thought that he was gaining at least a vague understanding of the fact that I'm having a baby. Well, unfortunately he is still more than a little confused. This weekend he has started to point to HIS belly and say proudly, "Baby Bruzzer." As Abby pointed out, "he has a thing or two to learn about obstetrics!"