That's Gotta Hurt

Oliver took a digger today pushing his new Tonka fire engine down the street. He was so excited to be racing along with a "fidah endine" that when the engine hit a bump he went head first over the top and scraped his face on the concrete. Ouch!

The fire engine, along with an ambulance and a tractor with it's attendant horse, cow, rooster, sheep, pig and of course farmer, are all new additions to our household. They all make noise (lots of noise!) and have lights that flash. They are the result of a pitched battle that I fought a few days ago with Ryan on the subject of toys, and represent a major retreat from my former position. Here's the thing, I am a real Scrooge when it comes to toys. I feel that less is more. I don't like buying lots of toys because:

• I want to choose playthings carefully so that they will foster creative play. I believe that toys should be "tools for play" and the best toys are the ones that are relatively open-ended and don't need batteries but do require imagination on the part of the child.


• I don't want to encourage materialism or consumerism by setting up the expectation that anytime we go shopping Oliver will get a toy or a treat. I don't want to create the false impression that "things" will make you happy.


• I feel like if he has fewer toys he will actually play with the ones he has.


• I think it's more important to give kids rich experiences than a closet full of toys. So rather than buying lots of toys, we draw, we read, we play ball, we make forts, we go to the park, or the playground, or the children's museum, or the science museum or have playdates.


• I don't want to have a whole lot of clutter around the house (Admittedly, a major part of my resistance to a lot of toys is totally selfish, so sue me.)

So, truly, I almost never buy toys for Oliver. He gets great toys from his grandparents and I figured that was enough. Ryan argued that Oliver LOVES cars, trucks, buses, airplanes, construction equipment, in short, anything with an engine and that we were depriving him by not letting him have more cars/trucks. I countered that what he needed was not more cars and trucks but art supplies. I busted out my litany of reasons why he didn't need toys (see above). Ryan laughed. I realized that I need to loosen up and that I am being a major spoilsport, killjoy, wet blanket, Debbie Downer, etc. In short, NO FUN. So, I totally fell off the wagon. In the last two days I've bought him three new battery opperated vehicles and we spent the day watching the movie CARS. Twice.

Oliver was over the moon.

I'll say it here, Ryan, you were right, I was wrong. I'm glad that Ollie has two parents so that we can more or less keep each other on track and that hopefully in doing so we will raise happy, well-adjusted kids.

In other news, here is the sight that greeted me on Saturday morning. What goofy guys!

Happy Baby

Elliot is one happy kid. He has definitely experienced a turn-around from his first months of life when he was seldom content unless he was nursing or sleeping. These days he is all smiles. He has discovered the joys of thumb-sucking (he's quite an addict) and rolling around on the floor. Oliver loves to make him laugh. It's entertaining to see what a 2 1/2 year old thinks will make a baby laugh. It's mostly physical gags in the Three Stooges tradition: falling down, hitting his head with a toy, making silly faces and noises. It seems to work, though, Elliot thinks he's hilarious! I love hearing them giggle together.

I'm just playing around with some photo collages. Here are more pictures of our happy guy.

Sources of Anxiety

I feel like I have been a major stress-case in the last few days. I don't know if I can pinpoint the cause of my anxiety, rather it seems that a whole bunch of little worries have started piling up on top of each other. Last night I had a dream that there was another terrorist attack and our family was separated and we were unprepared. It is very unusual for me to have bad dreams so it was really unsettling. I decided to try to exorcise these demons that are getting me down by making a list of things that I'm worrying about. So at the risk of exposing myself as a total neurotic crack-up, here are some of the things that have been weighing heavily on my mind.

• whether I have picked the right preschool for Oliver
• whether Oliver should be in preschool at all yet
• why Oliver will eat for Lisa, his feeding therapist, but not me
• being a good friend/maintaining meaningful friendships
• acknowledging birthdays/anniversaries; sending baby/wedding gifts
• being responsive to email or blog comments (It's sort of pathetic that this stresses me out so much. Please don't take it personally if I don't write back, I really love and appreciate messages even if I don't have it together enough to respond.)
• the global financial crisis
• Sarah Palin (for reasons too convoluted to explain right now)
• the hurricane victims in Haiti
• our growing list of friends who have lost their jobs
• my laziness
• my pathetic work ethic
• my chronic lateness
• finding a way to make a difference in the world outside my home, and preferably make some money doing it.
• feeling like I may be too lazy and lack the organizational skills to "do something" meaningful (apart from raising my children, of course, which I recognize is deeply meaningful)

Then I made a list of things that help me keep it all in perspective:

• I really, truly love being a mother. I don't think there are enough hours in the day to kiss and cuddle and tickle and chase and teach my boys. I love it. I can't get enough of it.
• I have a really amazing husband. He's so much fun to be married to and he's so good at all the things that I'm really bad at (see work ethic and organizational skills)
• I really love to cook. It totally helps me unwind to chop and dice and mix and fold. I love trying new recipes and creating my own variations. I feel like it's a worthwhile creative outlet.
• I'm excited to be taking tennis lessons and I'm determined to become a better player. I like to get out there and practice and it feels so good to know that I'm improving.

Part of my low-level anxiety may be related to sleep deprivation so I'd better sign off so I can get to bed. Here's to a happy day tomorrow!

Best Vacation Ever (TM)

Aloha! It’s been well over a week since Anna, Elliot and I returned to the “mainland” from what is currently being considered in trademark courts as “the best vacation ever”. For our avid readers there is nothing more to say than we’re sorry you weren’t there. It was awesome. Epic. Unforgettable. And whatever other superlative you can throw in.

THE SET UP A 10-year reunion
730 days of planning and anticipation
16 friends + 2 infants

 

THE OUTCOME 7 days in paradise with great friends doing a little, and sometimes a lot of, the following: Scuba Diving – Golfing – Kayaking - Jeep Safari - Waterfall jumping – Surfing – Snorkeling – Rafting – Aloha Bowling – Karaoke – Grilling – Hiking - Boogie Boarding - Beach Volleyball - Rope Swinging - Sunset Watching – Sun-tanning… and to top it off, yes, an engagement.

BEST SUMMER EVER This vacation has its roots in what is widely recognized as the Best Summer Ever. In 1998, I joined 15 of some of my closest friends on a summer adventure to Hawaii to “sell” pest control in Oahu. The event has become a date-stamping moment in our lives… essentially, everything in our life happened before we went to Hawaii and after we got home from Hawaii.

Because I pined to return and because Hawaii is not as fun without the friends who were there the first time, I got the ball rolling two years ago. Also, I had been secretly trying to convince Anna to move there. As a note, this was the only one failure of the entire trip. Based not only on the fact that she married me and that she doesn’t want to live in Hawaii, I’ve concluded Anna’s judgment is not to be trusted. And now… the trip. OAHU – August 13 We hit this island hard. We arrived on Wednesday, August 13 and went right up to the Na Pali lookout. Beautiful, inspiring… windy.   That afternoon, I took a trip down memory lane by visiting my old apartment, Ala Moana Towers at 1617 Kapiolani Blvd. Later we checked into our vintage Waikiki digs near the strip. As you can see, I am not a big “spender” on hotels (more evidence forthcoming). And then strolled along Waikiki beach and had dinner while watching the sunset. Thursday morning we woke up early and took a trip to the Leeward side and hiked to the Makapuu lighthouse. And, just like on every trip, Anna and I endeavored to uncover the best hole-in-the-wall restaurants. Kaneke’s plate lunch in Waimanalo was a hit. In Hawaii we call these “ono grinds” or “delicious food”

From there we headed to the North Shore via Kamehameha Hwy – yes, it is the most scenic and picturesque drive in the US -- to snorkel and hit the beach. No trip to the North Shore is complete without a stop a Matsumoto’s shave ice in Haleiwa. Friday, we spent the morning shopping at the “Made in Hawaii” festival in Honolulu and then headed back up to the North Shore, this time stopping at roadside shrimp trucks. Awesome food. We spent the rest of Friday touring the Polynesian Cultural Center and enjoying the evening luau and fire/dance show. Things turned a little ugly at the Laie Inn, where $100 will get you dirty towels, cock-roaches in the bathroom, peeling paint on the wall and carpet so dirty you literally wear flip-flops when you are in the room. It was in every aspect - The. Worst. Place. we’ve ever spent a night (in the US). It doesn't say a lot about our standards but we actually have stayed in some fleabag hotels in SE Asia that make the Laie Inn look like the Plaza.  Saturday’s morning drive back to Honolulu gave us a chance to see the BYU-Hawaii campus and the Hawaiian temple. Beeeutiful. Before heading out to Kauai we visited hallowed waters of Pearl Harbor at the USS Arizona visitor center. KAUAI I’ll admit. I was a little nervous. You never really know what you’ll get after planning a huge reunion requiring a fairly substantial commitment of time, money and resources. Once we crossed the one-way bridge from Princeville to Hanalei, over the Hanalei River, something magical happened and everyone and me instantly became enamored not just with the charm of the place but also with the reality of a true vacation.

As the group began trickling in from the Airport, we dined that evening on the delicious Bubba Burgers and then went for a moonlit swim in the ocean.

 SUNDAY We toured lighthouses, hidden beaches and watched the sunset from Kee Beach. Unfortunately for us, the forest was on fire and the alluring Na Pali hike was closed the entire time.

 

MONDAY One of my favorite things to do in the world is to dive; even better is diving with friends. The dive wasn’t great, but doing ninja stunts in our wetsuit on the beach was.

 

Anna and I kayaked the lazy Hanalei river against the backdrop of Kauai’s world’s-wettest-spot mountains.

On Monday night we got some fresh fish and burgers, fired up the grill (and the tiki torches) and served up da kine ono grinds.

Afterward we headed to Tahiti Nui and brought the house down with some karaoke, including my old standby “you don’t bring me flowers” duet. Oh yeah… I can sing Streisand.

TUESDAY Today was a textbook day of waterfall jumping and viewing. It ended with a stunning sunset in Waimea Canyon overlooking the Na Pali coastline.

WEDNESDAY A little breakfast out on the lanai followed by a vigorous trek out along the pacific coast to catch a view of the Na Pali cliffs descending straight into the water via a Zodiac raft.

THURSDAY It wasn't all play...here we are hard at work. Kidding. This is the fantasy football draft. The Blackberry on the table is Pete calling in from the mainland with his picks.

After three active days, we were all ready for some rest and relaxation at Hanelei beach, including some volleyball, surfing and boogie boarding.

 

That evening we went Aloha Bowling at the only alley on the island. I scored a 184 on my second game and took home the coveted “Lihue Bowling Game Towel”.

 

While everyone else was bowling, Debbie and Seth went off and got engaged! We all celebrated the news at Dukes Canoe Club.

FRIDAY, more surfing, beach volleyball and hanging out. In the afternoon we played the venerated Princeville Course, ranked as the #1 course in Hawaii and #20 in the US. I hadn’t played golf in 2 years. I lost at least 13 balls and pulled others out of numerous water hazards. I didn’t even bother keeping score.

On Saturday we hit the Hanalei farmers market and then began saying our goodbyes. By good fortune, Anna and I got bumped from our 2pm flight to Oahu and were awarded not only with some extra time to hit dinner with the remaining friends on the island that evening but also with $400 for the trouble. In an odd twist of luck, given that we flew over on frequent flyer miles, we actually made money on the trip. We treated our friends at dinner.

That evening we hooked up with the Monahans – a.k.a.the best family in Hawaii – who hosted us for the evening and the following day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then… after 12 blissful days on an island I used to call home, we bid a (honestly) tearful goodbye to the beautiful Hawaii and our wonderful friends. (sorry no picture of the weeping).