I am going to cut right to the punch line: We bought a minivan.
Hello Odyssey, good-bye Cross Country.
Sorry devotees of Chez Halverson, you are stuck with a blog post by Ryan. Anna would not succumb to the indignity of posting about a minivan.
Now, despite its impeccable safety record, I was never a fan of the Wagon and have been lobbying heavily the last three years to move up to the Mini. The Wagon was Anna’s idea. For her, the Wagon somehow separated herself from the reality of being a stay-at-home-mother-of-two-living-in-suburbia. For her it embodied some sort of liberal, visceral, earth-bound pastoral connection, similar to how someone might envision eating grass-fed steak with home-grown organic vegetables in the backyard of a farmhouse on a hill in Tuscany with say, Michael Pollan or the hosts of Splendid Table.
But her vision was never met with reality. The reality is that the Volvo was designed by Swedish engineers with the express purpose of withstanding the full impact of hitting a moose, but with no thought of a modern family. It’s like driving an empty refrigerator box with wheels on it.
You have to know that Anna is a bit of a Luddite (someone who is opposed to technological change). Case in point: Anna taught me the word, “Luddite”. She’s far better equipped to handle a SAT Verbal quiz than to opine on any technological advancement. Over the years we’ve had the following conversations (and I’m not exaggerating these).
Ryan: Let’s get high-speed Internet. Dial up is awful.
Anna: What are you talking about? It’s fine.
After he can’t take it anymore, Ryan upgrades.
Anna: Oh my gosh! High speed is incredible. I can’t believe we waited.
Anna: What are you talking about? It’s fine.
After he can’t take it anymore, Ryan upgrades.
Anna: Oh my gosh! HDTV is amazing!!. I can’t believe we waited.
Ryan: Let’s get you an iPhone. Your flip phone is awful.
Anna: What are you talking about? It’s fine. Anytime I need the Internet on the road I call my sister Abby. (true)
After he can’t take it anymore, Ryan upgrades.
Anna: Oh my gosh! I looove my iPhone. I can’t believe I waited!!
You can see where this ends… Enter the minivan. And, Anna loves it.
Now, in all fairness, it says something about my state in life where I am more interested in blogging about a minivan than say… my new job, or… moving to Nashville… or, how much I hate winter.
(PS – Winter, if you’re reading this, you deserve to know that you are hated, unloved and unwelcome. Please go away. Ask anyone and they would agree).
No, instead, I am writing about how awesome it is to own a Honda Odyssey. What self-respecting man does that? Hey, maybe I’m just a realist. And the reality is I’m 36, bald, pasty-white, with a wife, 2 kids, a mortgage and a desk job and, shamelessly, love me a good minivan.
10 comments:
Hurray, You have made the switch. I don't know anyone in the world who is not happy when they do. And the odyssey is the best choice out there. That is one thing I can't live with out. I mean, open the doors with your thumb, that is all I needed!
I'd take a *onda over a Volvo (and a *uffy) any day :-)
I only have good things to say about that van. I mean we have the same one.
I am more interested in hearing about Anna'a Iphone. All this time next door to me, and we never spoke of this. =)
Be sure to give the kids a big hug from us. Jayla misses Olie!!!
So I think you need to switch jobs and do stand-up comedy. I laughed myself silly through this post.
Glad you're liking the mini.
Awesome! Welcome to the mini-van family! We have unfortunately outgrown ours, where do you go from the mini-van. The 15 passenger!
Ha! Anna & I are sooo much a like! I have this internal battle about the mini van and all it means. You know a car really defines a person. We live in the bay area. I drive a Prius. I fit everyone in and just about everything in my car (including a 7 ft x-mas tree). So my argument, why a mini van? I am doing just fine with my Prius!
OH, Jenny, I am SO right there with you. That was exactly my reasoning about the minivan. I loved our Volvo wagon. It had a third row in the back that we could fold down if we had a couple extra kids. I never ran into the problem that there wasn't enough storage space. It was tight when we had out-of-town guests, but really, does that justify driving a bus for the rest of the time?
Anyway, we sold the Volvo yesterday to a guy who has 4 kids, so obviously not everyone thinks you "need" a minivan.
Ryan just read your comment and he said, oh, man, let's move to the Bay Area...guys night out would never be the same again. It's true. We might never see them again, either. Until of course we had to post bail for them for blowing something up or some other "practical joke"!
welcome, ryan, to the best hours and days of the rest of your life. minivans RULE. matt and i almost slept in ours the first night we bought it because we loved it so much. glad to know you made the journey to your new home safe and sound. and yes, please winter, go away forever.
Very funny. We too had to succomb to the allure of the minivan once we had our third. I resisted for as long as possible and we didn't want to do the huge SUV thing...so we caved. Who has time to worry about image once you have a bunch of kids anyways? I now love our Sienna...even if that makes me the typical stereotype of SAHM. Oh well.
Just catching up on this - congrats to you both for making such a big step! We too just went through a mini version of the car dilemma. We were almost smitten with the Prius and then went in the other direction with a Volvo then ended up with a Toyota Highlander. Ann just loves that third row (umm...who are we expecting over or are we having four kids now?). For the record, everyone we know (even in leftist Portland) with more than two children drives the Honda Odyssey....
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