Good as Gold

This is such a sweet video that our good friend Bryan Kenitzer (wwww.bayareavideographer.com) made of Andrew. Bryan is really talented and we wish that he could just follow the boys around and record these fleeting moments of their childhood all the time.

I haven't posted too much about Sweet Anwoo, apart from how he gets mauled by his brother, because it's almost unbelievable how easy this little guy is. And, really, I know no one, least of all anyone with children, wants to read about that so I'll make this brief. The truth is, he has got to be one of the happiest babies out there. He smiles and coos and kicks his feet and chews his fingers and mostly loves to get any attention at all from his brothers-- even when it involves being sat upon and results in copious amounts of goober all over his head and face from their enthusiastic kissing. The boys love to get him laughing which they can do by yelling "Roar!!!" which Anwoo thinks is comic genius. This little guy is just good as gold and I love him with all my heart.

Thoughts on Mother’s Day

So, I am up late writing out my Mother’s Day letters to my kids. With three I thought I needed to start early. Last year I didn’t finish (ok, didn’t start) Oliver’s until the middle of June. I was completely wiped out from the flood and early pregnancy so I had some excuse. Anyway, as I was writing tonight I had two thoughts that I wanted to post here.

1) Ryan is out of town this weekend. Some people I have told are shocked, “Out of town on Mother’s Day?!? What are you going to do??” But the truth is I am actually enjoying his being out of town this weekend. I know he is having a fun time (SCUBA diving in Honduras with a buddy from Raleigh) and that makes me happy. And I can do my own thing this weekend, which may be an adventure, or may be nothing.  I can set my own schedule. After the kids go to bed I can stay up late and work on projects and read and putter (I am a world class putter-er) and just relax.

So for Mother’s Day this year I am going to be engaged in Mothering—and that’s exactly how I’d like to spend it. I am really enjoying my kids right now. I know I used to feel this way a lot, but I haven’t felt so happy in being a mother lately (like since before Andrew was born). But I think it’s due to a combination of their getting a little bit easier and my getting better at not sweating the little things (like the giant dust bunnies under the furniture or dirty greasy fingerprints everywhere).

2) As I’ve struggled in my role as a mother, I gain new respect  for my mom. She did a lot for us growing up plus she had a full-time job. She kept so many balls in the air, it’s true, but the really amazing part to me is that I don’t remember her ever being cross or acting stressed out. I’m sure that she was often cross and stressed out, she just didn’t act that way around us. I don’t remember her yelling or blowing her top. I think I’m doing a better job in recent weeks of not losing my temper but I’m still not where I’d like to be.

I remember once, when I was about 3 or 4 and had just learned to write my name, I carved my name with a penny into the side of our car door. I remember that my parents were quite upset but I know they didn’t freak out or spank me or put me in time out for the rest of my childhood. I feel sometimes that I am so tightly wound, with absolutely no sense of humor or perspective, that someone would literally die if one of my kids were to pull something like that. But instead my parents got appropriately mad (I can’t remember what they did but it didn’t involve screaming or physical violence), I learned a good lesson, and I wasn’t permanently scarred by the experience. You see, I wasn’t trying to be naughty. I honestly thought they would be proud of me. I was thrilled that I could write my name and was so surprised that they didn’t think it was as just wonderful to see my name etched permanently into their automobile. I feel like Elliot does stuff like that a lot. He is just exploring his world, trying out his new skills and spilling /breaking things/tracking mud all through the house in the process. It is a real lesson in self-restraint. I need to have more patience. I know I have little patience when I’m tired so I’m going to sign off.

Easter pictures

  

We went to an Easter egg hunt at one of Ryan’s co-worker’s house. It was an “eggstravaganza” with well over 400 eggs hidden for only 12 kids. The winner ended up with 81 candy-filled eggs. Holy cow, that’s a lot of candy! The kids, Elliot especially, were thrilled with their get. But sadly, it was a short lived candy binge. You may have heard of the Grinch who stole Christmas, but chances are you haven’t heard of the Grump who threw away all his kids’ Easter candy. He lives here at our house. I pleaded with him not to do it but I suspect he recognized my true motive (to eat most of the candy myself) and insisted that we throw it away. It was more painful for me than for the boys who didn’t seem to notice that their stash disappeared.

 

They also had a sponge relay race. I love the intensity on Oliver’s face waiting for the start signal. He was definitely giving it his all. He was really upset that his team were not crowned “World Champions, West Coast Division.” The bigger kids took that honor.

 

A little bird has made her nest on our Easter wreath. Isn’t it beautiful with the sweet alyssum flowers? On Sunday there were 3 little blue eggs inside.

Oh Happy Day!

Miss Charlotte Daisy Grace Winkel (aka Charlie) arrived about 3 weeks early on April 29. This is the cute little face that greeted me (via text) yesterday morning. Can you imagine a better way to wake up than to see this little peanut?!?!

Abby had gone into labor on Thursday morning and had been admitted to the hospital where she was to deliver on Thursday night. I went to bed knowing that I might have a little niece by morning. I was so excited to hear the news that I slept with my phone right by my bed. First thing in the morning I grabbed my phone to see if there was any news, and to my delight saw a face that I recognized instantly. She looks so much like both Adam and Abby. The first foggy thought that I had was, “oh, of course! I know you!” I can’t wait to meet her in person!

I keep calling Abby to find out if there are any new developments…has she opened her eyes? Did she poop? Is she doing calculus yet? I think they are quite sick of me bugging them from 4000 miles away. Which means…I’m going to have to come see this little miss for myself. I mean, really, isn’t she adorable?!

I (Heart) New York

                                                                                                                                                                                                 Tina Fineberg for The New York Times West Village scenes within a few blocks of Bleecker and Perry Streets, clockwise from top left: the crowd at the Magnolia Bakery, outdoor dining at Sant Ambroeus, the new boutiques along Bleecker, the White Horse Tavern.

Last weekend I flew with Andrew to New York to host a baby shower for Abby. It was ALL KINDS of fun. Abby and Adam live in the West Village, which is without a doubt the coolest part of the city. It has these gorgeous 19th C. brownstones on tree lined streets, dotted with cool boutiques and restaurants, steps from Hudson River Park and the High Line.  They moved into a new place (a charming carriage house actually) since the last time I visited, but it’s only about two blocks away from their old place. I guess they figure they have a good thing going there-- which they do.

Adam picked me up at the airport so I wouldn’t have to take a cab and so Andrew could test out Charlotte’s baby gear (car seat, stroller, pack-n-play etc.). It was great that I was able to travel so light! The next day I woke up and got right down to business making 25 mini-loaves of my favorite Banana Bread for favors for the shower. Abby was on call the night before, so she got home from work at about 11:00 am and headed straight to bed. I headed uptown to the Whitney Museum to meet my godmother for lunch. I had a delicious pastrami reuben and matzo ball soup at the museum cafe. Oh my heavens was it good!! After lunch we went down to Saks, which would have been more fun if I hadn’t had a sleeping Andrew strapped to my body.

Next stop, an afternoon visit with my friends Emily and Katie. I lived with these awesome chicas in DC when we were all single. Now they live a few blocks away from each other on the Upper West Side. We talked about how un-fun we have become since having kids. I still think THEY are fun, but I have definitely lost some of my mojo (at least since Andrew came along).

For dinner I saw an old Cornell friend. She is as yet unmarried (although very recently engaged…congrats, Whitney!) and still very much in the fun-phase of life. Although, actually, I am quite sure that “fun” is not just a passing phase for her. She recounted her recent trip to Antarctica and detailed plans for future adventures. She is amazing and our conversation made me realize how badly I want to get my groove back. I feel like I’m really in the trenches right now and sometimes it’s hard to remember that this period of booger-wiping, crumb-sweeping, grass/dirt/poop-stain-removing monotony isn’t going to last forever. I love being able to stay at home with the boys but the aspects of mothering that recharge me (teaching them new skills, exploring with them, coming up with creative projects, etc.) lately seem to be edged out by the Sisyphean tasks of keeping the house relatively clean and everyone clothed and fed and bathed and diapered. I pray that this will get easier as they get older.

Anyway, the next day, Saturday, was the shower. We had ordered tea sandwiches and scones from Alice’s Tea Cup and added to that bounty some cookies and brownies from the grocery store. I was really happy with the way everything turned out.  Abby had a good time and lots of her friends were able to come which was nice.

After the shower we went to dinner to celebrate my mom’s birthday with my godmother and her daughter Emily (with Abby in the picture above). My mom slept over at Abby’s house that night and we had a lazy Sunday morning the next day. We lounged around in our pajamas in her sunny apartment, eating bagels and lox and reading the New York Times. We took Kermit for a walk down by the river so he could socialize with his doggy friends at the dog park, and so we could get artisanal ice cream cones from the gourmet ice cream truck parked on Bleeker Street. One of the things I love about Abby is that she is all about simple indulgences…she eats more ice cream and takes more bubble baths than any other person I know. By a long shot.

The next day I took the Metro-North train up to Garrison where I was met by my lovely friend Jean. Jean and I met in Nashville last summer. We were introduced through a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend-- a tenuous connection but we clicked immediately and became great friends. Her husband is in the Army and teaches at West Point. I had never been to West Point so it was really interesting to visit and learn a little about the history of the post. My grandfather graduated from West Point in 1920. He felt a great connection to West Point and wrote extensively about his experiences there in his memoir. It felt like a pilgrimage in some ways to visit a place that has such storied traditions. This is where the cadets eat. It is probably not much different now than when my grandfather was there as a plebe in 1918. It was much larger than it looks in this picture and very grand.

  My iPhone picture of Jean and Andy and their adorable little ones with the West Point chapel behind them.

I wish I had taken more pictures in NY but Ryan had the camera…at Disneyland with the boys! That is a subject of a whole new post but let’s just say it was a HUGE success. The boys absolutely had the time of their lives and have not been able to stop talking about it ever since. The only one who is surprised is me, who thought they were too young for Disneyland. I was proven wrong.

I love this picture of Elliot. It has nothing at all to do with this post, but I just love it. He’s on the tire swing at the playground near our house. He rode his Skuut to the playground which is why he still has his bike helmet on.

In Like A Lion…

What the heck happened to March. How did it fly by so fast?!?! I have a million thoughts in my head about interesting things we’ve done/noteworthy experiences of the past few weeks/spiritual impressions/ruminations on the state of the world, etc. Any of which might make lively reading if I were to post them on this blog. Unfortunately, I have a sleeping Andrew in one arm and I’m typing with one hand so none of that is going to make it into this post. Besides, I’m kind of operating at only half capacity these days mentally.

I have made it a point to go to bed early so that I can maintain my sanity. So far it’s more or less working. I have been a much kinder, gentler version of myself when I am not sleep-deprived/Diet Coke fueled. Having three kids is definitely kicking my butt. I have decided, however, not to fight it and just get sleep and deal with what comes my way.

And what is coming my way--what is flying at me-- is one CRAZY almost-3-year-old. This kid is such a handful! He has so much energy and is very curious and independent.  I think those are WONDERFUL traits. No doubt those qualities will serve him well as an adult. As a pre-schooler, however, they are a real liability.

Here is Elliot after he climbed to the very top of the stack of storage bins in his closet to get the Legos. He realized he couldn’t climb down with the Legos so he started throwing them down in great handfuls…the racket he was making alerted me to his position.

 

Here he is one morning after he climbed up onto the counter to sneak a Hershey’s Kiss from the cupboard. I didn’t even know he was out of bed.

And here’s the top of his head after he found Ryan’s clippers in our bathroom. It’s a nice look, really.

In spite of (or maybe because of) his mischievousness, he is really quite loveable. He and Oliver have so much fun together.  Here they are a few weeks ago at a playground near our house.

 

Andrew has discovered his hands. They seem to be endlessly fascinating. He will stare at them in awe as he wiggles his fingers or grabs one hand in the other.  

We went for a hike today after General Conference. These woods are  in the” Open Space” behind our house. Cattle graze among the oaks and we’ve been told that there are tarantulas and mountain lions, too. Fortunately we didn’t encounter either of the latter.  We did see some wild turkeys. They make really funny noises.

        

Snuggle guys

So this is our scene of domestic bliss for the evening. Elliot always wants to snuggle with Anwoo and tonight he was able to snuggle without putting A's life in jeopardy. He did say to him, "if I had a knife I could cut you in half...cause that happens." Really, Elliot, where do you get this stuff?? (Besides the Bible, of course.)


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