Happy Birthday Dear Oliver

Oliver turned 2 last Sunday. It has taken me a week to find the time to sit down to post this but Oliver's adoring fans (a.k.a his grandparents) are clamoring for photos, so here they are with a run down of the day's activities.

Back in the fall I had grand plans for a Thomas the Tank Engine birthday party. My friend Tessa has a fabulous train bundt pan and I found these great unpainted Thomas trains that I thought Oliver and his little buddies could paint at the party and take home as favors. It all seemed so wonderful until I realized: I frankly just don't feel like making that effort. Terrible! But, really, he's only 2 for crying out loud and, really, is he going to care?

So, instead we invited my mom (Nana) to come down to celebrate with us. We decided to have a little family "party" at the airport Observation Park, which is one of Oliver's favorite spots these days. There's an observation deck where you can watch the planes take off and land, and there's a small playground and a few picnic tables. It's little boy heaven! So, on the morning of his birthday Ollie woke up early and helped me make cupcakes. He loves scooping and dumping the ingredients into the bowl, but got overly enthusiastic about mixing the dry ingredients and flour got EVERYWHERE. Actually, what happened was that he decided that mixing with his hands would be a lot more fun than with a spoon. We made orange-vanilla cupcakes with chocolate butter cream frosting. They were very yummy!!

We took the cupcakes and his presents to the observation park in the late morning. All was going swimmingly until we tried to light the candles. It was very windy and despite our best efforts the matches kept going out before the candles were even lit. Ryan insisted that the best way to do it was to strike two matches at once "because that would make more heat". (What?!?) I disagreed (strongly) with this technique. He countered that I should have brought more matches. I told him (using a combination of verbal and nonverbal cues) that I thought he was an idiot. He told me (likewise employing grunts and rolled eyes) that I was a big jerk. Tensions mounted...there were only four matches left. Ryan decided to try lighting the candles in a less windy location...namely the public men's bathroom. GROSS!! Furious, I followed him in there. So did Oliver who started exploring (with his hands) the fascinating world of urinals and toilet stalls. Ryan did manage to get the candles lit, but as we were moving out of the bathroom one of the candles tipped over and landed, ironically, still burning, on Ryan's hand that was cupped around the flames to keep them from extinguishing. He didn't want the candle to go out, but his hand was literally on fire. He started calling desperately to me to help him. It was a birthday party low-point to be sure. My mom, who had diplomatically stayed out of the fracas up to this point scooped Oliver up and took him over to the playground. Completely defeated and ashamed of ourselves, Ryan and I just sat at the picnic tables and laughed at how truly pathetic we were.

We decided that enough was enough and we would just punt the birthday "celebration" until later. After dinner we invited some neighborhood kids over to sing happy birthday and Oliver was finally able to blow out his candles and open presents. Obviously I'm glad that we didn't try to undertake anything more elaborate this year. Maybe it will be the kids, and not the parents, who melt-down at next year's celebration.

But to get to the heart of what we should have been commemorating, we are so happy and feel so blessed to have this sweet, happy, curious and playful little boy in our lives. Each night before we go to bed Ryan and I talk about the cute and funny little things that Ollie does. We go in to peek in on him after he has fallen asleep and our hearts almost burst with love for that little fellow. We love him so much and are so glad that he's part of our family.

Watching planes take off and land could not be more engrossing



Oliver and Nana "take off" down the runway
Building sand castles


He IS wearing underwear...but even his tiny Japanese underwear get pulled down when his pants sag. The kid needs suspenders.

Friends Who Rock

Wednesday night Ryan went out to watch the UNC-Duke basketball game with a friend (they were supposed to actually go to the game, but unfortunately, our friend's roommate decided that instead of just giving his tickets to his good buddy, he would sell them for hundreds of $$$). Anyway, he was out really late so what did I do? I went on a blog-reading bender and caught up on the happenings of some of my dearest friends. WOW. I can't believe what talented, funny, and creative friends I have. I just wish more of them lived closer to us!!! (Our Raleigh friends are also talented, funny and creative.)

I just have to put in a plug for my friend Ally Condie who, in addition to raising two adorable little boys, is churning out books at a head-spinning rate. On Wednesday night I read an excerpt from her latest book, The Moms' Club Diaries, a compilation of stories about motherhood, which convinced me that I needed to go right out and buy it, which I did (online, since it was midnight). This is the excerpt, written by another great friend, Josie Lauritsen Lee. I loved it because I can just hear Josie tell this story in her own voice. It made me miss her so much. So I called her this morning in London, but she wasn't home (sigh).

The Right Fit by Josie L. Lee
Had I been interviewed for a position as a Mormon mother before my son was born, I might have made it through a couple of rounds. But in the end, despite my book-filled hours of preparation, my application would have been rejected because of “motivational fit”—a term I used frequently in one of my pre-parenthood jobs. As part of this job, I conducted behavior-based interviews with candidates looking for employment with our company. I would ask these candidates a series of questions designed to gauge their experience and proficiency across a range of competencies related to the open position (for example, teamwork, leadership, ability to multi-task and handle stress). Interestingly, candidates could score highly across the target areas and still not be hired because they were not the right “motivational fit.” In other words, their personalities and aspirations were not cut out for the job, regardless of their skill sets.
Since, for a variety of reasons, I was not cut out for a position in Mormon Motherdom (or so I thought) I contemplated parenthood somewhat reluctantly. When Noah was born, however, I was overwhelmed by how much I unexpectedly adored him, and I entered motherhood like a lovesick bull in a china shop. No finesse. No technique. Just freehand gung ho. I happily, if clumsily, assumed the necessary tasks and roles of motherhood, hoping the animal-instinct love in my gut would cover for my lack of fit. I didn’t know what I was doing, but even heaven could not help anyone who messed with my boy.
As time passed, I began to feel more at ease in my new role. Somewhere in the hours of gazing at my baby and kissing his toes, the issue of motivational fit became irrelevant. Still, I was not fully comfortable in my new role as a Mormon mom, and there were moments when my inner china shop bull reared her ugly head. Unfortunately, at least one of these moments occurred in public.
It was a (dare I re-live this in print?) family home evening exchange—an ingenious invention unofficially introduced into the Church no doubt by an achieving mother of eight with a perfect motivational fit score. As the idea goes, a group of ten parents get together and exchange family home evening lessons they have prepared and copied for each member of the group. At the end of the exchange, all the parents walk away with instructions and materials for ten lessons to share with their families. In our stake, these exchanges had been going on for some time among the women, but I had never participated. I had no artistic skills or child development expertise to offer the group, and though I really liked the idea in theory, it required a little too much organization and attention to detail for my taste. Since family home evening in my childhood home never involved plans or visual aids, preparing a reproducible lesson didn’t feel like something I was cut out for. This time, however, a dear friend of mine, whose mothering I greatly admired, persuaded me to participate in the exchange. She assured me that whatever I produced would be acceptable for the group. Forgetting my friend was not aware of the depth of my incompetence, I foolishly believed her and signed up.This particular exchange was headed up by a young mother in our ward with a formidable motivational fit profile. During the months preceding the actual exchange, she organized several groups of ten mothers, no member of which would repeat a lesson topic. She compiled email lists, organized spreadsheets and kept us all informed of our collective progress with commanding precision. I was impressed with her logistical management, but I was confused as to why people needed so much time and information to prepare. My all-heart, no-skill approach to parenting only required a few minutes to cobble together a family home evening lesson while clearing Monday’s dinner dishes. Still, I took the cues from our fearless leader (“Only a month left until the exchange, Ladies!”) and decided to ramp up....

That's all Ally had on her blog, so I guess I'll have to wait to see what happens. I can't wait to get the book in the mail!

Oh, Happy Day!

Ok, this is totally dorky, but I have had the BEST week because Oliver has potty trained himself. In one week. What a kid!

He had been able to go on the potty for some time now but I hadn't officially made the switch because I thought a) I am just not psychologically or otherwise ready for accidents and poo everywhere and b) where in the world am I going to get underwear small enough for his tiny rear-end...that is still an issue but apparently Jill Nelson is coming through for me with a source for underwear for preemies, I'll find out more tomorrow.

Anyway, last Saturday night I was complaining to Ryan about the fact that I didn't know what I was doing or have a plan for potty training Oliver although I really felt like HE was ready, and that if we waited until I was ready he might lose interest. The novelty and excitement of going on the potty (not to mention sheer joy of flushing the toilet!!) might get a bit stale. Ryan, who is relentlessly organized and always "has a plan," was a little exasperated that I was approaching this situation with such disorganization and apparent apathy. But then, at that exact moment, Saydi called and gave me lots of good tips so I started to formulate a plan. The next day (Sunday) we heard a really inspirational talk at church about the importance of setting goals and I thought, I'm going to make it my goal between now and his birthday (Feb 17) to "implement my plan" and really work with Oliver on potty training. For those of you who know me well, you must know that "implementing plans" is NOT my strong suit, nor my usual M.O. And, yes, I know, the speaker probably had more spiritual goals in mind when he delivered his talk, but in any case, I chose to apply his message to potty training.

So, with Saydi's advice and the inspiration from the church speaker in my mind I blazed ahead with my plan, which was basically to keep him in diapers but put him on the potty every 45 minutes. In truth, I didn't and still don't have a plan for naps or nighttime (diapers stay on...I'm not that into doing laundry). BUT--Oliver had a different plan. He seems to have "gotten it" completely and let me know when he had to use the potty, even when we were out shopping or at the Science Museum. He didn't have one accident all week!! No, not one. He even woke up this morning and called out that he needed to go pee-pee because he wasn't about to go pee in his diaper, no way, man, not when he could go in the potty (and use toilet paper, and flush, and close the lid, and wash his hands, and wipe them off on a towel, and turn off the light...all of those steps need to take place in their proper order...he's a bit like Rainman in that respect, but I'm not complaining.)

Anyway, I fully realize that this post is way too long and I am WAY to psyched about this, but it is what it is. Also I have probably cursed myself by writing about how well things are going because it's only been one week, so fingers crossed that he continues with his great progress.

Blizzard!!

Half an inch of snow fell last night and the entire city shut down. Stores and restaurants closed early, while it was still just raining, so that employees could scurry home before the "storm" hit. We braved the weather and found a restaurant that was still open (our first choice had closed!) The roads were almost completely empty save the armada of snowplows standing ready by the sides of the highway and a few other hearty souls who we decided were surely not native North Carolinians. Our church was canceled this morning so we have had two blessedly lazy days in a row here at home.

I took Ollie out in the snow which he really enjoyed until his poor little fingers started to freeze and he started crying. He hates mittens but I think now he gets the idea that they are not torture devices but actually convenient hand warmers. After the little freezing fingers episode he was much more agreeable about putting on his mittens. For the record Ryan is/was completely horrified that I let him play outside in the snow without mittens or a hat...those were my bad judgment calls. I accept full responsibility.

PS--Check out Oliver's NY Giants kit. (Thank you Uncle Bernie!) He's getting ready for tonight's playoff game.

Bis-Ball

Oliver is obsessed. He just goes bananas for sports, which he refers to collectively as "beec-ball/ bis-ball or just ball." Basketball, football, baseball, hockey, golf, you name it. If there is a ball involved, he's down with it. He even calls the TV "beec-ball" because, as far as he's concerned there is only one thing worth turning on the TV for: sports. (His Dad may have helped cultivate this perception.) He has eagle eyes for basketball hoops and points out each one in the driveways of houses we pass when we are out in the neighborhood. In fact, on one memorable occasion we passed a house that was TOTALLY decked out for Christmas. It had lights everywhere, several inflatable lawn ornaments including a giant snowman on a motorcycle, and a huge LCD "Countdown to Christmas" display that played Christmas carols. It was something else, to say the least. We stopped in front of the house and I said, excitedly "Oliver, look at all those lights!!!" he looked at the lights, clearly unimpressed, and pointed to the garage and said "beec-ball." Sure enough...there was a hoop over the garage door. It's amazing to me to see his little personality emerge in ways that are totally surprising to me, but archetypally, universally "boy."

Oliver LOVING his first Carolina Hurricanes game

Christmas in Raleigh

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring...

We hosted Christmas this year and happily we had a full house. Nana Ford, Grandpa Ford, Abby and her boyfriend Brian were all able to come down to share at least part of the holidays with us. Brian left after dinner on Christmas Eve to spend Christmas with his family and Abby had to work on the 26th so she left in the afternoon on Christmas.

We had a lot of fun with so many people to entertain (and be entertained by.) It was so much fun having Brian around because we played games, stayed up late watching movies and sports on TV and did a lot of other things that just aren't my mom and dad's bag. Of course, since this was a Ford family gathering, by a wide margin the main activities were 1) procuring food, 2) cooking, and 3) eating. We checked out some of the foodie establishments around town, including, but not limited to:

A Southern Season, Lantern Restaurant, Weaver Street Market, the Carrboro Farmer's Market, Foster's Market, and the new Trader Joe's in Chapel Hill.

My dad got it into his head that what would really be great was if we could have goose for Christmas (eve) dinner. Hmm...no one had ever eaten or cooked goose before, but why not!? Well, we now know why not. It has an incredible amount of fat under its skin (apparently the flesh is quite lean if you can get all the subcutaneous fat to render out...which we were unable to do properly). It is also very tough. We needed steak knives to cut it. It had a pretty nice, not at all gamey flavor, but I don't think it was worth the trouble. The skin is supposed to be delicious and crispy, ours turned out more like slimy and chewy. Yuck. My dad fried some up afterwards perhaps in an attempt to turn it into a goose version of cracklins. Still yuck. He ate it of couse and insisted it was wonderful. That's my dad.

Abigail made a chocolate "Bûche de Noël" for dessert which was very good, especially with ice cream, but really, what's not good with ice cream? After dinner we said good bye to Brian and all walked over to the Catholic church in our neighborhood for Christmas Eve mass. It was such a memorable experience to walk through the dark streets and see all the houses lit up for Christmas. When we got to the church they had lined the walkway up to the door with candles and there was a roaring fire in the foyer fireplace. It was so nice to come in out of the cold and dark into the warm and brightly decorated church. We sang Christmas carols and then walked back home to drink hot chocolate and watch Millions, a very tender Christmasy movie that one of my friends sent as a present this year.

One of the most anticipated parts of Christmas for Ryan and me was setting up Oliver's new train set. He just goes bananas for trains, so we decided to get him a set for Christmas. We were so excited for him to see it that we woke up early on Christmas morning! At first he walked right by it, but then he just lit up when he saw it. He had been carrying a present that he found under the tree and he just chucked the present and ran right to the train table. He spent most of the day (and every day since) playing with the trains...first just pushing the trains along the tracks and then tearing up tracks and wreaking havoc on the table. He has a really good time!!!

Here are some pictures, mostly out of order, of our Christmas festivities.

Opening presents on Christmas morning.

In the kitchen preparing our Christmas eve dinner
Ryan HATES carving meat, and this goose was a particularly tough bird, but my dad volunteered/conscripted him for the job. He was such a good sport but you can see the look of barely masked disgust in his face.
At the Durham Science Museum Oliver explains the principle of "conservation" to Nana by showing that even though the two containers are shaped differently, they each hold the exact same volume. (Actually, he was showing her how much fun it is to pour the plastic beads in this exhibit on the floor.)

Oliver helping Abby decorate the Bûche de Noël
Grandpa Ford enjoying the NY Times...
Oliver also enjoys a good article (notice it is about dogs!)
Oliver and Brian laughing their heads off at the cloud exhibit at the Science Museum

Oliver really got into Christmas candy.
Oliver is crazy about his Aunt Abby
Our Christmas Eve dinner

Abby discovers her stocking
Oliver discovers his train table
Oliver really gets into the train table...

Oliver would touch the Christmas ornaments and say "noooo" to himself, as if to remind himself that he was doing something naughty... but his self-admonition didn't stop him from pulling on the ornaments!
Abby and Brian looking cute...as always!

Thanksgiving Pictures

We went out to Minnesota to visit the Halverson clan for Thanksgiving. I never posted about it because things sort of went into overdrive right after that. Anyway, we finally downloaded our pictures from our trip. We had a great time hanging out with Ryan's parents, his brothers and sisters and all their kids. The highlight of the trip from Oliver's perspective was the trip to the Model Train Museum in St. Paul. The older cousins got bored after abut 30 minutes but Oliver and his 2 1/2 year old cousin Jaron could have been there all day. Ryan's sister Kim did an awesome job of organizing fun outings each day, so in addition to the train museum, we went to the Como Zoo, to the Minnesota Science Museum, swimming at the Y, and bowling/laser tag which Ollie and I missed because we were napping. Despite the fact that EVERYONE (all 20-plus of us) had caught some cold bug by the time we left, we had a really great time.

Grandma Halverson gives Ollie some piano lessons
Kim and her boys with Ryan and Ollie at the train museum
Ollie's goofiest grin
Jaron and Oliver having a crazy time in the tub