Thoughts on Motherhood

I had the chance on Mother's Day to write a letter to each of my sons, a little tradition that I hope will someday amount to a really meaningful gift for them and a treasured memento of these years for me.

One of the things I wrote about was how fortunate I feel to be a mother and in particular to be a "stay-at-home-mom". I haven't always felt this sanguine about the whole "SAHM" status. I was raised by a very accomplished mother who not only earned her PhD while I was a toddler, but also was able to develop a rich professional career while raising two kids. It sounds trite, but I HONESTLY do not know how she did it. My dad was appalled when I quit my job to stay at home, but he is trying his best to be supportive now. I know he thinks I am a good mother, but I also know that he feels like being at home with two little kids is some sort of purgatory: it's hard work that kind of sucks, and my "real" contribution to the world is still to come.

I know that I have a duty/obligation/privilege to make a difference in the world outside our home, and I hope I can figure out what that will be. But during this "season" while my boys are so young, I LOVE being able to be with them every step of the way.

I feel like being with my children is such interesting and rewarding work. I love observing how little brains work. I love watching Oliver gain knowledge and skills. It's fascinating to hear what he remembers and notices about experiences--the details that are salient to him are often so surprising. I love seeing Elliot develop physically and attack the world with such gusto. And it's so much fun to create opportunities for them to explore and learn.

It is also really reassuring to feel that what I am doing in raising my children is in no way frivolous. It is not a waste of time or something ephemeral. It is profoundly meaningful. And I am REALLY GOOD at wasting time (no, really, really good...trust me on this one). When I am doing things with my kids it never feels like I'm "wasting" time even if we are being lazy or inefficient.

Anyway, the way I came about this topic was that I was thinking about friends/family members who have had a hard time conceiving children. It is such a blessing and a miracle that we can have children and my heart just breaks for those who yearn to be parents but cannot. You'll notice that I added a link to Taylor and Lisa's (my bro & sister-in-law) adoption website on our sidebar. They were able to adopt the MOST adorable little boy about a year and a half ago and are hoping to find another child to adopt soon. They were introduced to their son's birth parents by an acquaintance, and apparently this works out quite often. So, I thought that I could use my blog as a little platform not only to shout out the wonders of motherhood, but also to advocate for adoption in general and for Taylor and Lisa in particular.

Ryan just got home so I'm going to sign off...