Love Fest...And Then A Reality Check

A few days ago it really hit me that this phase in my life (mom to an only child) is going to come to an end very soon. I have thought often about how the addition of Baby Bruzzer is going to effect Oliver but I didn't really think about how it would also bring to a close a chapter in my life. It has made me feel especially loving and tender towards Oliver because I feel this nostalgia for the present, if that makes any sense. These last few days I've been thinking about how each time we do something together it might be the "last" time (at least without a little sidekick). As much as I am looking forward to meeting this new little one, I will miss these days!

I love Oliver so intensely. He has such a sweet and gentle personality but he's also full of fun and loves to laugh. He makes it so EASY for us as parents. (Besides, of course, not eating and still being basically incompetent in chewing and swallowing food...we are really hoping that Baby Bruzzer will teach him a thing or two in the department). He's so cooperative when I ask him to do something. OK, truth be told, sometimes/often I have to ask him more than once and he will SAY no, but then he does what I've asked him to do anyway. He loves to "help out" around the house. He loves to shoot "bassies" or baskets so any job that involves throwing stuff in the trash or putting dirty clothes in the laundry basket he turns in to a game. He doesn't even mind when he misses, because that just means that he gets to do it again. He says "MISS!" with as much gusto as he says "BASSIE! NICE WOOK!" (as in "nice work!") when his projectile makes it in the basket/trash/toy bin. My heart melts when he looks up at me and says "Tee-tee mommai" (thank you mommy) when I give him something he has asked for: juice, a song, his favorite green Crocs, moh cha cha miik (more chocolate milk).


OK, I wrote all that on Monday night...before he was replaced by a changeling or morphed into a more typical two year old. In the last 48 hours he has been a real stinker. My well of patience has run dry. He doesn't do anything I ask, no matter how many times or how kindly I ask. He hits me. He throws his Crocs at my head while I'm driving. He threw sand in a child's face at the playground...twice!! When I try to get him out of the car he scurries into the front seat and makes a grab for chapstick, breathmints, CDs or other contraband. Last night he wouldn't get out of the car and I was so fed up from chasing him around that I just closed the door, tuned off the lights and left him in the garage (I pray this doesn't prompt a visit from Social Services). And of course I went back out and got him as soon as he started to cry. I complained to Abby about what has been going on and she said "sounds like you are in a battle of wits with your two year old...and he's winning!!" I think she's right and it's so frustrating!!

Ryan has been out of town a lot recently and I realized how much I depend on him to keep my sanity. He is so good with Oliver and he really helps me keep it all in perspective. Last night when he got home from 3 days in New Orleans we all sat on the couch, Oliver cuddled up in Ryan's lap smiling sleepily up at me saying softly, "mommai, daddai, O-ver, Babby Bruzzer" like he was so happy that our family was together again. That's exactly how I felt!! Those are the moments I cherish. I hope I can call up those sweet little memories when he is working on my last nerve.